Sunday, August 30, 2009

Thursday, August 27, 2009

True Story

I went to visit a fine young lady today in the electronics department. She was holding a DVD that I had my eye on. When I met up with her she proclaimed how bored she was. It was slow at the time and she had a couple hours left until she was off.

“It’s been a crazy day, crazy people.”

“Are any of them still here?”

She glanced over at the DVD section and nodded. The only person over there was a wild haired guy perusing the cases.

“he usually comes in with a helmet”

Like many times before I walked around the department looking at various games and accessories while my lady friend walks and talks with me. I veer towards the wild hair guy. We stop and talk about the latest Screamers sequel. Out of nowhere the wild hair guy proclaims,

“My brother said there was a new format coming out after Blu-ray.”

I look at him and reply with a smile,

“Oh yeah? They gonna call it Pink-ray, or Red-ray maybe?

He stares at me for a second as I wait patiently for any response to my horribly pathetic joke. He glazes over, his body gradually tilts backward. Anchored on his heels and stiff as a board he falls backward past the point of any recovery. His shoulders slap the hard linoleum and the back of his head meets the ground with a dense bouncing thud. Shocked, I stepped toward him to see if he was conscious. He moved, but was silent.

“Are you alright? Did you have a seizure?”

He was dazed but sat up. The back of his head was bloody. A crowed started to gather. Someone brought a chair while another called the paramedics. I helped him up into the chair. He said he was epileptic. A first aid bag was brought out and an instant ice pack was feebly slapped on the ground by a store manager to activate it. I took it from her, squeezed it and it mixed the chemicals with a few shakes. The paramedics showed up shortly after. The manager thanked me and I paid for my DVD and left. I felt bad. I was scared for the guy even though he was relatively okay. He should have worn his helmet. If nothing else I can claim with absolute truth that my jokes are seizure inducing.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Letter Cult

Many thanks goes out to Brian Jaramillo for including my zombie piece in Letter Cult's "The Best of the First Half 2009"

Tons of great lettering is compiled there so be sure to check it out.

Sunday, August 16, 2009