True Story

I went to visit a fine young lady today in the electronics department. She was holding a DVD that I had my eye on. When I met up with her she proclaimed how bored she was. It was slow at the time and she had a couple hours left until she was off.

“It’s been a crazy day, crazy people.”

“Are any of them still here?”

She glanced over at the DVD section and nodded. The only person over there was a wild haired guy perusing the cases.

“he usually comes in with a helmet”

Like many times before I walked around the department looking at various games and accessories while my lady friend walks and talks with me. I veer towards the wild hair guy. We stop and talk about the latest Screamers sequel. Out of nowhere the wild hair guy proclaims,

“My brother said there was a new format coming out after Blu-ray.”

I look at him and reply with a smile,

“Oh yeah? They gonna call it Pink-ray, or Red-ray maybe?

He stares at me for a second as I wait patiently for any response to my horribly pathetic joke. He glazes over, his body gradually tilts backward. Anchored on his heels and stiff as a board he falls backward past the point of any recovery. His shoulders slap the hard linoleum and the back of his head meets the ground with a dense bouncing thud. Shocked, I stepped toward him to see if he was conscious. He moved, but was silent.

“Are you alright? Did you have a seizure?”

He was dazed but sat up. The back of his head was bloody. A crowed started to gather. Someone brought a chair while another called the paramedics. I helped him up into the chair. He said he was epileptic. A first aid bag was brought out and an instant ice pack was feebly slapped on the ground by a store manager to activate it. I took it from her, squeezed it and it mixed the chemicals with a few shakes. The paramedics showed up shortly after. The manager thanked me and I paid for my DVD and left. I felt bad. I was scared for the guy even though he was relatively okay. He should have worn his helmet. If nothing else I can claim with absolute truth that my jokes are seizure inducing.


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